Dim myExcuses(1 to 21) As String

myExcuses(1) = "That’s Weird…",
myExcuses(2) = "It’s never done that before.",
myExcuses(3) = "It worked yesterday.",
myExcuses(4) = "How is that possible?",
myExcuses(5) = "It must have a hardware problem.",
myExcuses(6) = "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash." ,
myExcuses(7) = "There is something funky in your data",
myExcuses(8) = "I haven’t touched that module in weeks!" ,
myExcuses(9) = "You must have wrong version.",
myExcuses(10) = "It’s just some unlucky coincidence." ,
myExcuses(11) = "I can’t test everything!",
myExcuses(12) = "THIS can’t be the source of THAT." ,
myExcuses(13) = "It works, but it’s not been tested." ,
myExcuses(14) = "Somebody must have changed my code.",
myExcuses(15) = "Did you check for a virus on your system?",
myExcuses(16) = "Even though it doesn’t work, how does it feel?" ,
myExcuses(17) = "You can’t use that version on your system.",
myExcuses(18) = "Why do you want to do it that way?",
myExcuses(19) = "Where were you when the program blew up?",
myExcuses(20) = "I thought I fixed that.",
myExcuses(21) = "This is not a bug,it’s undocumented feature."

Dim randomChoice As New Random(UBound(myExcuses))
Dim iRandomChoice As Integer = randomChoice.Next()

Return myExcuses(iRandomChoice)

End Function

you can get more funny code from Comedy Code